Dear Readers,

While many of us will be thinking of new and different gifts to buy for Mom this week, I’d like to share a beautiful letter written by an 80-year old mother in answer to her grown son’s asking what he could do to be a better son. I’m not going to change a word but let you enjoy it exactly as it was written. Perhaps this will give you an idea of what to do after the new gift is opened and all through the coming 365 days. I hope you enjoy this letter as much as I did.

“How to be the appreciated or a ‘better’ son or daughter? It’s very simple, yet complicated. We are not looking for money or a high style of living or to be more important than your mate. We are looking to feel loved. To be loved and to feel loved are not the same. It’s the phone call out of your busy day that shows you care even if the conversation is mundane. It’s not only your presence in a room that fulfills us. It’s the affection and conversation that is gold. Don’t be afraid to show how much you care. Pretend we are your children, for in the end, that’s who we really are.”

Rita Giacalone
80 yrs. old

It has been some time since I’ve devoted my attention to our Make Mom Happy by Mail blog and am happy to have a quiet afternoon to bring you up to date.  As many of you know, I’ve been working on a book to share the concept behind Make Mom Happy By Mail with as many people as possible.   That concept is simply to ask your loved one, especially an older relative or friend, “How can I be a better ………(daughter, son, friend,  granddaughter, etc.)

I’m fortunate to be working with a delightful agent who has confidence in the book and has worked for several months to find just the right publishers and to put the proposal into the best possible form.  Along the way, she suggested we change the title from Make Mom Happy By Mail to The One Magic Question.  This made lots of sense to me because it really was the question that started our Make Mom Happy by Mail campaign and resulted in all the great things that followed.  So that’s the new title, The One Magic Question.

And, with that as the title, I’m now starting our 100 People Ask The Magic Question campaign to discover how others would answer the Magic Question,  “How could I be a better…….”   The first few responses were touching. Here’s an example from a young colleague.

“I asked my mother what I could do to be a better daughter.  She said, “You haven’t been in touch much lately.  Call more often so that I know you’re OK and I won’t have to worry as much.”

My colleague went on to write, “I know that in recent months I’ve been so busy with my work life that I’ve been neglecting my personal life, but I thought it was only impacting me.  But through your question, I now realize that it’s been impacting others as well.  Thank you for the eye opener and the first steps to getting back on track”

I loved this response because it reminded me of how very simple most requests are and how easily they can be answered.  It also reminded me that mothers and dads just keep worrying about the wellbeing of their children, whether those children are 6 months, 6 years or many times that old.

I invite  you to participate in our 100 People Ask The Magic Question campaign by asking someone in your life “What can I do to be a better…….” Then, if you are willing, just send me a quick note telling me who you asked and what they said.  I’ll let you know the 10 most often heard responses and more sweet stories in future blogs, as well as in the book.  And I’ll be very grateful.  Oh yes, you might also suggest that they ask someone they love The Magic Question – perhaps you!

Thanks for visiting Make Mom Happy by Mail.  Be well and bring joy to someone you love.

Not sure what would make your loved one happy? Try asking one or more of these questions. Listen and be ready to respond. It’s a simple formula that can work miracles.

1. “What could make your cooking (or gardening or cleaning) easier?”
2. “What gadgets do your friends have that you’d like to try?”
3. “What kind of book do you most like to read?”
4. “What magazines do you buy most often?”
5. “What’s your favorite sports team or player?”
6. “Is there somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit?”
7. “What kind of things make you laugh?”
8. “When you’re not busy, how do you like to pass your time?”
9. “Are there any hobbies you’ve thought you might like to try?”
10. “What can I do to be a better… son, daughter, friend, neighbor, etc.?”

Be Well and Bring Joy

Please share your stories with me so I can share them with others.

Interviewing seniors for my book, Make Mom Happy by Mail, was very interesting.  I asked seven questions and thought you might enjoy reading the answers on one questionnaire.

Question:  Would you prefer a letter, an e-mail or a phone call from your children.

Answer:  A Letter, even a typed one is better than a phone call.  It can be re-read, shown off to the neighbors without having to be printed out from the computer.  It says you care enough to give me your time and time is the most valuable gift of all.

Question:  What does mail mean to you in your daily routine?

Answer: A link with the past, for example a letter from a former classmate or news of the present like weddings, birth announcements and special days.

Question:  Do you know what time your mail carrier comes and do you look forward to it?

Answer:  Yes, he comes very later in the day.  And, YES!

Question:  Other than a letter, what have your children sent by mail that made you happy?

Answer:  Cards on special days and then for no reason at all.  Card from their vacation spot.  Drawing by the little ones who have not learned to write.

Question:  If your child asked you, “How can I be a better son or daughter, what would you tell them?

Answer:  Just let me know you are there by any and all means.  Don’t have a schedule, just call or write for no reason other than to say, “I love you.”

Question:  Other than mail, what have your children done in the last 5 years to make you happy?

Answer:  Continued to support me in my musical endeavors.  Given me a trip I had not thought of taking.  Just coming together as a family on holidays and birthdays.  Always saying, “I love you” before we hang up the phone.  Letting me be the matriarch when I know they have different views of certain matters.  Remembering with me special days that no longer can be celebrated because of the death of a spouse or family member.

Final thought: A little time, a little thoughtfulness and to be told “I love you” seem to be the simple keys to making many seniors happy.  Could one of these things make someone you know happy today?